Play Your Own Game

Which game are you playing?

Who is making the rules?

Why are you playing the game?

Why not make your own rules?

Everything in life is a game.

We play the career game.

We play the survival game.

We play the love game.

and so on and on.

And we submit to the rules,

the rules made by others.

Many are unhappy and hate the rules.

So why not make your own?

Obligations and Responsibilities

Which obligations do you have?

What are your responsibilities?

Why do you have them?

Which of them did you choose willingly?

What effect do they have on you?

Every obligation and responsibility is a burden.

Responsibilities we can choose to have.

Obligations we cannot — they are put on us.

Some come as a consequence of decisions.

Some we are born into, some we gather.

Some we know about, some we don’t.

Once we carry too many, it is time to shed them.

Make the decision right

How much do you fret over your decisions?

How often do you regret past decisions?

How much can you affect their trajectory?

How well did you anticipate the consequences?

Sometimes you make the right decision,

sometimes you make the decision right. — Phil McGraw

Most decisions we have to make right for us.

From where and when we make the decision,

we cannot know what the right one is.

Stop fretting over decisions in front of you.

Stop regretting past decisions.

What can you do right now to make it right?

Closed Chapters

How often do you close a chapter in life?

How many chapters are open,

yet you wish they were concluded?

How do you feel once you close a chapter?

Which chapters do you fish to re-open?

We have different phases in life.

We change where we live and work.

We change who we love and hate.

Each change can close a chapter.

Some chapters we want to close,

yet they linger on and on.

And others we would love to re-open,

yet it is permanently closed.

Chores and Structure

How do you handle chores?

How structured is your approach?

How much chaos can you stomach?

What is your point of no return?

We all have chores in our lives.

They are essential parts of a structured life.

Some days we manage more than on others.

We all have a different threshold of chaos.

We all have a point of no return,

no return to order and comfort.

Do not pass that point;

there is a path back,

yet it is painful.

Individual Risk

How often do you take a risk?

How do you define what is risky?

How often do your risks pay off?

How dire are the consequences?

Risk is individual:

What is risky for you is safe for another.

What is safe for you is risky for another.

Find your low-risk zones and double down.

Individual asymmetrical opportunity is the goal.

If you find one, seize it by the neck.

Saying Goodbye

How do you say goodbye?

When do you say goodbye?

For what reasons do you say goodbye?

How do you know if it is final?

Saying goodbye is part of life.

Some goodbyes are permanent.

Others are only for a time.

Some we take more seriously than others.

Some goodbyes are half-hearted.

Some are done with full intensity.

Missing a permanent goodbye is painful.

Make every goodbye like it were final.

Action - Point

What does it need for you to act?

How long can you watch a situation?

When do you feel responsible?

Why do you act when you do?

Some situations, we can watch forever.

Other situations, we cannot watch for long.

We may push our responsibilities along.

Or we may act immediately, even though

we have no responsibility to do so.

What are you pushing along?

Where do you act, yet you do not need to?

Wrong Future

How well do you imagine future events?

When are you pessimistic and why?

When are you optimistic and why?

How often are you totally wrong?

We often imagine how a future event will go.

Most of the time, we are wrong.

It may come worse than our worst case.

It may come better than our best case.

Predicting the future is a fool's errand,

yet we all try to do this constantly.

Focus Trouble

What happens when you focus intensely?

How often do you forget everything else?

How often does this get you into trouble?

How often is intense focus worth the trouble?

When we focus intensely, we forget everything else.

Even important things may fall victim.

If they do, we will be in trouble.

Yet, often the trouble is worth the results.

Yet, sometimes the results are not worth the trouble.

Learn to know when the results are worth it.

Communicate it all

How do you communicate?

How much can you tell with your words?

How much can you tell with the words left out?

How much can you tell with your actions?

“The things said and the things not said. In the space in between, a thousand worlds. A thousand worlds.” - The Malazan Book of the Fallen 10

Communication is much more than what we say:

It is what we do not say,

It is what we do and don’t do,

It is how we move and stay still,

It is the look in our eyes,

It is our expressions,

And the spaces in between all that.

Performance Volatility

How volatile is your performance?

When do you perform badly?

When do you perform well?

When and why do your skills deteriorate?

Everyone’s performance is volatile.

For some more and for some less.

There are days when we do badly at our strengths.

There are days when we do well at our weaknesses.

When we are exhausted, we won’t perform well.

When we are well-rested, we will excel.

Adjust your expectations of yourself accordingly.

Center of Attention

How often are you the center of attention?

How often do you believe you are?

How do you feel when you are?

What do you do with it?

Everyone is the center of attention sometimes.

Some revel in it, some hate it.

You can use it to your advantage.

Or you can choose not to.

However, often we misjudge the situation,

and wrongly believe we are the center.

Or we misjudge the duration,

for it may have been for just a brief moment.

Deadline Tyranny

How do you handle a looming deadline?

How do you deal with your exhaustion?

How well have you rested yourself?

How do you balance all three?

With a looming deadline, we push on.

However, often we can push no further.

Then the deadline becomes a tyrant.

Exhaustion is the tyrant’s currency.

While rest has become the hero.

Let the hero free you from the tyrant.

Skills That Stick

Which of your skills stick with your for life?

Which skills lose value without practice?

How much confidence is required?

How can you turn a skill into one that sticks?

Some skills we acquire retain their value,

other skills we learn do not without practice.

Some skills will lose their value regardless.

We can turn any skills into one that sticks.

All you need is to find the use case.

Balance isn’t Equal

How balanced are your relationships?

How much critique do you give and receive?

How much praise do you give and receive?

How do you feel about the ratios?

Positive and negative interactions are part of life.

In relationships, the ratio is crucial.

1:1 is no balance, don’t be mistaken.

We need more praise than critique.

The closer we are, the higher the ratio needs to be.

How do you behave in your relationships?

Skilled vs Unskilled

How skilled are your helpers?

How difficult is the task?

How easily do you find skilled help?

How can you make do with unskilled help?

Even in seemingly easy tasks, skill is crucial.

A skilled helper can make all the difference.

Unskilled help can make a mess of things.

Unskilled help needs to be directed more.

Unskilled help needs to be trained.

Skilled help comes at a cost, a cost well worth it.

Futile Endeavours

How often do you participate in futile endeavours?

What are they usually about?

Who initiates them?

Why do you participate?

How frustrating are they?

At times, we will face a pointless project.

We will participate for different reasons.

They come in all shapes and forms.

They come in all areas of life.

Some we will do willingly.

Some we will not have a choice.

Dead Deadlines

How often do you fail a deadline?

What are the reasons for it?

What is the difference when you make it?

How often did you kill it before you tried?

Failing a deadline happens to all of us.

We might have overestimated ourselves.

We might have underestimated a project.

Or we might have given up too early.

You won’t know if the deadline has died,

before you try your all to make it.

Appreciation vs Depreciation

Which of your belongings depreciate with time?

Which of your belongings appreciate with time?

For what reason are you holding onto them?

What else could you buy if you sell them?

Most of us accumulate things over our life.

The majority of things depreciate with time.

Once an item has served its purpose,

we should not hold onto it any longer.

Think of what you need right now.

Items that appreciate have this purpose.